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Post by cavemuscle on Nov 8, 2006 14:12:52 GMT -5
Massiv's post reminds me how isolated alot of us can feel. I know at times when I'm tired, lonely, angry, hungry (H-A-L-T) that I can get real down and develope at "WTF bother" attitude. Recuperating from a major setback like my bicep tear, seeing guys I was in advance of 2 years ago pass me by, and continual "waiting for the other shoe to drop" feeling all cancer survivors seem to have lingerin' somewhere can make me feel real isolated.
The best thing for me is to talk to my online buds here, but also take action in the "real" world. I was moaning and groaning about how no one ever spoke to me at the gym. Then I realized I had not made one effort to introduce myself, and I was still behaving like a guest there.
My solution is to stick out my hand and intro myself. If nothing else I get a name, and everyone likes to hear their name. The next time I see them I can greet them by name and Maybe get a greeting in response. It helps me own my presence there and makes me feel "a part of".
Also, I get so focused on the future I forget to enjoy the ride there. I forget that it's social as much as sport, and start comparing myself to everyone like I'm sizing up future competition. The end result is I'm no longer living in the present, I'm totally centered on myself and hence miserable.
Again, making at least some sort of personal contact, if not buddies, helps me break out of that.
Remember folks, despite all the Muscle god and goddesses talk, we are just folks with real life stuff going on. Take time to shake a hand, say hi, offer to spot, listen to their stories and lives.
Stay connected
Peace
Brock
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Post by GerryT on Nov 8, 2006 14:17:19 GMT -5
What a super post, Brock. For sure, feel privileged to have connected with you and made a friend.
Absolutely, outreach is the name of the game. To have friends, you have to be one.
Great philosophy, brother. We all need some of that attitude.
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Post by cavemuscle on Nov 8, 2006 16:06:23 GMT -5
Wahhhh thahnk yew, Pilgrim.....
It goes both ways Gerry. I consider all of you friends-I-have-not-met-in-person-yet. But even in this lifestyle, I NEED you guys and gals to keep me sane.
B
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Post by beckie on Nov 8, 2006 16:20:17 GMT -5
You are absolutely right Brock! And I like the H-A-L-T analogy,we all have to deal with this stuff from time to time and the best time to do something about it is when we are in the gym  |
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Post by Tim Wescott on Nov 8, 2006 19:34:57 GMT -5
Great post Brock,and I`m guilty as hell of feeling that way and acting that way a lot of the time!
Eloquently put,and an eye opener.
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Post by Hoopie on Nov 8, 2006 22:27:11 GMT -5
awesome post and very true!!!!!
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Post by RUBICON19 on Nov 8, 2006 22:36:34 GMT -5
NICE post Brock....
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Post by cavemuscle on Nov 9, 2006 11:24:33 GMT -5
AWWWW shucks!
Actually it was Jason Arntz and Ben Pitre that knocked that into me. Listening to Jasons tales of his psycho first marriage (both were way to young) and Ben's steroids, narcotics and wife swapping tales of bodybuilding in Cali in the late 80's and 90's showed me we can screw up a good thing just as well as anyone else.
Some time when I think there might be no one under 21 reading i'll post some of those. Talk about scorching keyboards and Coke Alerts!
B
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Post by hossjob on Nov 9, 2006 12:40:01 GMT -5
Brock great post. I am, by nature, an extremely positive person. I TRY to alwasy find good out of bad. I try to make the most out of things, but in 2003, I had surgery for a hernia in November. i didn't train all of Oct, Nov, Dec. I got back into training In January of '04 only to get another hernia in the beginning of February. I became what a friend called, "a black hole of negativity" This friend once told me, "Kyle, you can do something to totally piss me off, but somehow every time I see you, it just makes me smile and everything is okay because I know you didn't mean what you did and you'll make it up to me somehow." Well...that same friend now told me, "Kyle You are a black hole of negativity. Bro, you are starting to bring me down, WTF?" After that I took a long hard look at myself and realized that. I shaped up quick. I realized that yes, woring out, lifting, nutrition, and bodybuilding are part of who I am, but they don't DEFINE ME! After that I got my mind right and life has never been better!
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Post by chanman83 on Nov 9, 2006 13:04:59 GMT -5
Brock great post. I"m very lucky for many have told me I have this gift to bring people to me. What I mean by that is I'm not shy to introduce myself to anyone and that I make friends easily. I do feel everything you've said. We are all human and no matter what we have all gone through rough times. I know personally the last 2 yrs of my life have been one of the worst with my sports gambling problem that I finally feel like I've gotten out of my system. I agree, talkin to many guys and gals here on this board and the others boards I post on made me see new freinds and push me even further in my goals for life.
What kyle said in his last sentence is very true about me too.
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Post by GerryT on Nov 9, 2006 14:42:13 GMT -5
Great posts, guys. In fact, one of the best threads I've ever seen on any forum!!
Tim, hope you don't mind that I'm sticky-ing it. We need to refer to this from time to time for our well being!
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Post by Tim Wescott on Nov 9, 2006 17:29:04 GMT -5
Great posts, guys. In fact, one of the best threads I've ever seen on any forum!! Tim, hope you don't mind that I'm sticky-ing it. We need to refer to this from time to time for our well being! Not at all Ger....good idea brother! |
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Post by Massiv on Nov 14, 2006 20:26:27 GMT -5
Brock,
Great post and you are totally correct. It helped me immensely to have all of you here for me to vent and seek advice from. This is my second home. You are all the best. I now try and reserve a few minutes every evening just for here.
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Post by 1705total on Nov 23, 2006 9:55:43 GMT -5
Great post brock and so true.
I have realized in my own life that simple greetings go along way. Think about what you said about the greetings in the gym. I do the same, but just about everywhere I go. I walk into convient stores and always make sure to say hello to the cashiers and ask how they are doing. They see so many people every day and take so much crap from people that a simple gesture like that can make their day, and then we feel good for doing it. A win win for sure.
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Post by BigMikeReed on Dec 12, 2006 17:03:52 GMT -5
Brock recenty reminded me of this topic and I just re-read it. It's all true. I have a few things to share that verify that this is all true:
I did really well training through Dec 2005, then somehow in the first couple months of 2006 I COMPLETELY fell off the wagon- not sure what happened-- all I remember of it now is feeling depressed, not wanting to train.. and the few times I did train I felt like the weakest person in the world. Well through some of the posts here and a few PMs I had with folks here (Masterchamp as well as a few others), I my a$$ in gear and got training again. So here I am in December, up about 18lbs of quality muscle thanks to all of you.
Now Brock mentions that being outgoing at the gym, etc helps alot.. and it does. I used to be the most shy and stand-offish person around. Once I returned to the gym after having the problem I had early in the year I can't believe how many people at the gym were glad to see me and asked me where I'd been-- people who I didn't think even knew I was ever there. Since then, I have made a huge effort to be outgoing, met a few really quality people at the gym and added so many people to my "I know but haven't ever met" list from this board:
Tim- ALWAYS takes time to comment on my posts
Masterchamp- ALWAYS answers my PMs, no matter how dumb my question seems.
Rubicon and Intenseone- you guys are nuts and keep it lively here.
Hoopie- always positive comments to keep me goin'
Cavemuscle- insightful and keep thoughts on bodybuidling coming
GerryT- gotta say a great guy I hope I meet - motivating x 900%
Last and NOT least:
Massiv- a truly great person, knowlegable who is always there to motivate and educate ( and not to mention he's a fellow Colorado bblder and future Mr Colorado).
If I forgot anyone.. I'm sorry man!!! I'll get ya later!
Ok.. well I'm not sure if I made ANY sense with all this but just wanted to say a HUGE thanks to everyone and say that I agree- this sport is about comeraderie as much as anything else.
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Post by Tim Wescott on Dec 12, 2006 18:16:07 GMT -5
It all makes great sense Miike...........glad to hear you`re back on track and doing so well. I wish I could say I put on 18 quality pounds but I can`t!!  Keep pumping brother!! #arockon6ha# |
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Post by BigMikeReed on Dec 13, 2006 20:10:32 GMT -5
It all makes great sense Miike...........glad to hear you`re back on track and doing so well. I wish I could say I put on 18 quality pounds but I can`t!! Keep pumping brother!! #arockon6ha# OHHHH BIG Tim.... you could put on 18lbs... you just have to be willing to be above that 3% bodyfat level you maitain year around. #bflexsmiley1vs# |
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Post by macattack on Jan 12, 2007 23:17:36 GMT -5
I'm pretty solitary myself and the internet has really gotten me to reach out more and make a few friends.
Some i have met like my last 2 girlfriends LOL neither of which panned out the last one lasted 2-1/2 years before finally falling apart and so did I , I relapsed drinking and drugging one night after almost 6 years clean, I believe I talked with Tim about that , now its 6 months later and i've met a really wonderful women who I really don't deserve but you know i've come along way in this life thing in the last few years and keeping sober is number one for me now and forever , without it I have nothing, with sobriety the world is my playground.
I've gotten my contractors state license to paint and started working on advertising my business, just got back from H&R block to figure out how i'm going to do this long form tax return this year this is all new to me and i'm skeered as heck but I just keep keepin on.
I had to take time off from the gym for the first time in years, 10 days at first had 2 colds back to back now a possible injury to my elbow just 2 workouts later after getting back in the gym.
The hernia I had 2 years ago has retorn and I need to go in and have it checked and see if surgery is going to work which I highly doubt since i'm not giving up the weights just yet, so i'm living with a buldge in my belly for now, nothin big.
I can really let alot of things in this life RULE me and CONTROL me, I live H.A.L.T all the time, I have Hepatitis C and i'm tired alot I need naps just about daily, my eating is all F'd up once again but i'm trying to get back on track, I have anger issues LOL but it's I'M getting alot better with that using my own personal wisdom and spirituality to overcome anger, I live alone and yes I get lonely but having this new gal in my life has made me less lonely but she lives in the hills and hour and half away so weekends are usually only time I see her.
All in All, my lifes not all that bad, I just became and uncle i have many loved ones I do have some good friends its just alot of work sometimes, I truly know that I have it easier then alot of folks and alot to be greatful for and I AM.
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Post by Rich on Jan 13, 2007 10:12:43 GMT -5
This is a great thread. It should be required reading for anyone new to this board. I've learned a lot about the people here, and about your relationship, AND it got me thinking.
One of the biggest revelations that came to me a while ago is that I don't know if I am a good friend. Am I there when my friends need me, without them having to ask? When a friend needs help moving, am I standing at their door at 7:00 am in my t-shirt and sweats, or am I with the others, hiding behind some half-assed responsibility?
I want to be the friend that I want to be friends with.
This year I started at a new school. After spending a lot of time getting comfortable working at my old school, I was depressed that I would have to make the effort to form new relationships with colleagues. It doesn't come easy to me. I am very VERY reserved. But I thought "These people don't know anything about me. The only person at that school who knows I am reserved is ME. And I'm not telling."
I admit I spent the first week feeling very out of place. Very DISplaced. I regretted my decision to move. Then I said "No more." And I asked myself what behaviour a new person at my old school would have exhibited that would make me warm to them quickly. And I discovered ... it's not so hard. Just be yourself. Be friendly. Ask "is this seat taken?" and sit next to people you don't know, then participate in conversation. Offer to help whenever you see that you can. Offer to share your expertise, and ask for the benefit of the expertise of others. And you know what? It works. And guess where I learned all of this?
In the gym.
God I love this sport.
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Post by BigMikeReed on Jan 14, 2007 22:53:30 GMT -5
Great post Rich. Well guys it looks like a we have another great person here that has joined us. Glad you took the time to read the posts here man- they really do say alot about each of us that posted here.
Mike
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