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Post by Massiv on Nov 6, 2006 19:31:50 GMT -5
Sorry I have not posted in forever. Brothers that recently competed and chanman, much congrads to your success. that is terrific.
On the home front, I am afraid that bad things are on the horizon. Wife and I aren't going to make it, I don't think. I am so freakin sad. I don't know what to do. I have drifted from training due to my elbow injury. I went in and had a cortison shot today in it. So maybe it will be ready to do soon. I have been drinking and taking pain pills. I know, not good!!!! I don't know what in the hell to do. I have corporate sponsors now and they are expecting great things from me. So much pressure. I am about to pop. So damn sad. My step kids are driving me insane, which in turn pisses off my wife.
Help guys. I need you now more than ever.
This is why I have not been around lately. I stay away from home. I sit at the gym until I have to come home.
Peace,
John
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Post by ntrllftr on Nov 6, 2006 20:41:40 GMT -5
Dude sorry to hear. I really don't know what to tell you since I don't know the whole situation is. But I am sure I can relate pretty well since I am on my 3rd marriage myself. Try to hang in there I am pretty positive that the drinking will make things worse all around. This I know due to my past alcohol abuse.
Feel free to pm me if you want, I am always glad to help out a fellow bodybuilder other than training and diets.
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Post by beckie on Nov 6, 2006 20:47:02 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear this John. I do think you need to seek some professional help to get you through this-it is not a sign of weakness and I think ANYONE regardless of gender who can stand up and admit they have a problem is to be commended.
there are alot of guys on this board who have been through battles with the bottle themselves so I'm sure they can offer you some advice or insight.
Take Care ((HUG))
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Post by Hoopie on Nov 7, 2006 1:31:03 GMT -5
John if you still love your wife then why not try a marriage counceler(sp?). the alcohol wont cure the problem only you and your wife can do that. Do you know what your wifes feelings are? Maybe get the lines of communication opened up a little between you and wifey. thats what me and mine had to do and i fell back in love with her. we let the lines of communication shut down and things started going sour for a couple years. Then one day she confronted me and (yes i was a bad boy) we talked for literally 2 days and ever since then we have been great. Not saying it will work for you but give it a try. Just my 2cents...Wish you the best of Luck buddy! Hope all works out for you!!!!
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Post by GerryT on Nov 7, 2006 12:57:26 GMT -5
John, let's talk please!! Get off the booze and pills. They don't solve problems; just create them.
You and your wife need to sit down and talk this out. If you still love each other, then go to counseling as Steve suggested. And if she won't go, then go alone. This is a tough hurdle, but if you can't jump over it and land on your feet, your life will be messed up.
Call if you can, bud. I'm here!
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Post by Massiv on Nov 7, 2006 20:53:37 GMT -5
Friends,
I took your guys advice. I am seeking a conselor and I threw the beer and pills away on my way to the gym. Had a great workout. Came home cheerful and I find out that her x husband supposedly had a stroke. She is all upset. SO I guess I am feeling jealous as hell. So I came down stairs to the computer and got on the board. The conselor recommended this a type of therapy. I am a literal basket case. Re-evaluating my life and trying to figure what direction to go. Thanks to all of you and your support. It all means the world to me. Thank you. that is the reason I am a proud member of this board. Everyone cares!!
John
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Post by RUBICON19 on Nov 7, 2006 21:38:49 GMT -5
Great job on throwing out the boooz and pills. NO GOOD!! Never ends well!!! Now think posative and do some posative things. Everything in life happens for areason. I ma sure of it. There is something great for you around the corner. Value what you do have...
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Post by BigMikeReed on Nov 7, 2006 22:21:19 GMT -5
As you can see here Massiv, we're all here for ya- don't make yourself a stranger- you'lll make it throuh just fine!  |
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Post by beckie on Nov 7, 2006 23:36:31 GMT -5
Good to hear John! Be sure and keep us up to date  |
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Post by Tim Wescott on Nov 8, 2006 8:00:03 GMT -5
Damn brother,sorry to hear about the recent problems,but just remember we all go through stuff like this at one time or another.
Lord knows I`ve been there too many times!!
Good thing to drop the booze............after 33 years of drinking and doing drugs,I can tell you that they will only compound the problem in the long run as well as create new problems for you.
Stay strong and try to think positive.........you`ll get through it and if you need to talk,we are here bro!!
e-mail or PM, or on the board........whatever it takes.
Keep your head up!!
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Post by mrbeefy on Nov 8, 2006 8:22:46 GMT -5
John,
First.........know that we all care about you.
Second.....Congratulatiuons on dumping the bad stuff. GREAT DECISION! We are ALL very proud of you for that!
Third.....Talk. Talk with your wife. Talk with your step-kids. Talk with a good friend. People are NOT mind readers and more bad things can happen when you do not communicate and everyone starts making assumptions. Step back...breathe...and talk.
I've been married almost 30 years..and had a lot of rough times. But I got through it, brother...and you can too.
If your a religous person, you can go down that avenue too.
The gym is a good place. You grow there. You get to vent your aggressions there...but DON'T let it become a hide-a-way. A time may come when you'll regret that.
WE are all here for you brother. E-mail, call, write, whatever it takes buddy. We are here for you. Hang tough!
You did NOT get to where you're at overnight, and some of these things cannot be fixed overnight either. You know that, just like in bodybuilding, it takes time to grow...you didn't get Massiv overnight. Time is on your side. You can persevere. You can overcome!
Frank ;D
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Post by cavemuscle on Nov 8, 2006 13:13:52 GMT -5
I can only repeat what has been said around here already. good on you to drop the pills and booze off, next is to get to the actual problems.
talk, talk, talk, and when you are tired of talking, talk some more.
I know you guys live in a small-ish town in Colo. However there has to be county and state services available.
Finally, even pro's need time off to fix issues in their lives. Ain't no thang to take time to get yourself back in the groove of life, then come back stronger and clearer headed than ever.
Brock
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Post by Massiv on Nov 8, 2006 20:36:56 GMT -5
Again, Thank all of you for your support. It is rough as hell. I don't know if I am coming or going. I just want to be happy again. My wife is the exact opposite of me. I like to have goals in life and strive to achieve them. She is content with just being here. I have always been goal oriented. She makes me feel like a worthless pile of crap. I think she likes to keep me there. She refuses to give me any support at all. Everyone else around me bends over backwards to assist and boost my moral. She won't lift a finger. I competed this year on my own accord. The only assistance I recieved was from you guys. I am almost positive that she probably would not have even went if I did not need someone to apply my sunless tanning. I have no support. Maybe I am a cry baby. Hell I don't know anymore. I just want to be cared about. Most of all feel cared about.
I appreciate your comments. I am going to seek a conselor. I have to much at stake now. Great things on the horizon. I just have to make it across this damn canyon first.
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Post by tiffany on Nov 8, 2006 20:37:12 GMT -5
I know I haven't posted in a while myself, for some of the same reasons. As everyone has said, good for getting rid of the bad and starting to talk. With regards to the wifes feelings over the x's illness, don't let that put more distance between you. If he is the father of her kids and they have maintained a relationship that is healthy for the kids she will have feelings but it does not mean that she does not love you. Remember his illness will also affect the children who she loves and wants to protect from any pain or hardship. If you truly love her and want to work things out - be there for here through this, don't make her feel like she has to choose. My X and I are not "friends" but maintain a working relationship for our 2 boys. Right now I am going through some health issues and possibly facing spinal surgery - I will need to really on my X to help and support the kids through this procedure and can only hope that both his and my partner will be understanding and supportive as well. If you need to talk more on this PM me. Take care.
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Post by ntrllftr on Nov 8, 2006 21:31:41 GMT -5
Glad to hear that you are taking initiative in seeking a couselor. All I can say is if you don't feel comfortable the first few visits look for another one and don't give up because us guys here on the best web site on the planet WOTW will not give up on you! Try to take it easy man.
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Post by cuts280 on Nov 8, 2006 22:09:36 GMT -5
It's really good that you dropped the alcohol. Now I would like to say something......I feel that being spiritual and being close to God helps here. There are situations where we are completely shattered and we loose our "peace of mind" because of which we go in depression and look at everything in a negative way. Also it feels like we cannot get rid of the problem in such situations when you are spiritually inclined, I do believe that God paves a way for your problems and also allows you to think rationally which in return helps you to asses the situation and sort out the setback. Just my two cents. Take care buddy.
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Post by cavemuscle on Nov 9, 2006 6:23:10 GMT -5
Again, Thank all of you for your support. It is rough as hell. I don't know if I am coming or going. I just want to be happy again. My wife is the exact opposite of me. I like to have goals in life and strive to achieve them. She is content with just being here. I have always been goal oriented. She makes me feel like a worthless pile of crap. I think she likes to keep me there. She refuses to give me any support at all. Everyone else around me bends over backwards to assist and boost my moral. She won't lift a finger. I competed this year on my own accord. The only assistance I recieved was from you guys. I am almost positive that she probably would not have even went if I did not need someone to apply my sunless tanning. I have no support. Maybe I am a cry baby. Hell I don't know anymore. I just want to be cared about. Most of all feel cared about. I appreciate your comments. I am going to seek a conselor. I have to much at stake now. Great things on the horizon. I just have to make it across this damn canyon first. I get ZERO support and in fact regular attempts to sabotage my efforts from my family. I learned they are just insecure, afraid my bodybuilding will "take me away" somehow, not realizing that it's that very lack of support that is driving me away. as far as feeling cared about. Care for yourself and let your friends here and local pick up that slack. BIIIG VIRTUAL HUG Brock |
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Post by chanman83 on Nov 9, 2006 12:59:40 GMT -5
John, I echo everything the great people on this board as said. Just like them I'm here for you too brotha. You've helped me out in the past and I'm here for you too. I pray everything goes well. Your a great person and I don't want to see anything bad happen to you.
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Post by Intensity on Nov 10, 2006 8:59:01 GMT -5
Sorry about that John, but it's good to see you dropped the bottle… because i've only seen bad conclusions when alcool was involved in situations like this.
I agree with comments here: Talk… because imo it is the only way to make sure there is no misunderstanding! And misunderstanding can bring regrets…
I'm sending you positive waves. Stay strong John and remember that WOTW is behind you.
Mo
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Post by Massiv on Nov 11, 2006 21:54:52 GMT -5
guys your words have literally picked me up off of the ground. Cuts 280, Cave Muscle, Chanman and Intensity. Thank you. We are re-focusing and things at home are a little better. Cavemuscle, you summed it up well and I am glad to hear that I am not the only one out there that has no support at home. Your hug was recieved. All of you are terrific and someday I will return the favor that you have done with your words. Chanman, I saw you on BB.com. Mucho Congrats my brother. That is so cool. I have a photo shoot for NPC magazine coming up in 4 weeks. So I have to get my sh*t together. With your up lifting words of encouragement and understanding, you all have given my some much needed drive. Time to get back to work. Thanks a million.
Love all you guys,
John
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