I really hate going out with friends..

[Mystic79]

I have a good time usually, but I see it as such an inconvenience with sleep, diet, and general healthiness. All of them don't care about diet, hydration, and proper sleep patterns. There are a couple who work out but they do it half assed and don't get enough protein.

Anyways I go out maybe once every 2 weeks now and every time they start late and stay out late, which totally throws me off the next day. I went to bed at 1:30pm last night and guess what.. I woke up at 6:30, and I don't have to be at work until 10pm. I've been in the habit of going to bed at a normal time and now because of going out it's reduced my recovery time and possibily compromised some gains I've worked hard to stay at. Maybe 1 night of bad sleep won't completely ruin my gains, but it does throw things off.

Some may say, "Why not just leave early if they go out too late?" Well then it's rude to come to someones house at 8pm and leave at 9:30 or 10pm. So I feel obligated to stay at least a few hours.

Anyways I just needed to vent. I'm 27 and most of my friends are 24-25, so they are still in that stay up late, drink, party mode., but honestly I'm too old for it now.

It's sad though because I find myself not wanting to answer my phone just so I don't have to make an excuse not to go out. Really wish they had the same lifestyle. I'm not saying I'm a professional bodybuilder or a competitor where I need perfect diet and sleep, but I work hard to make any gains I can in the gym, and it bothers me a bit to have to compromise them or totally have to plan out my evening for food, proper sleep etc. I admit not lifting made life very easy, but then I'd be an average joe. I love lifting and watching my diet because it's made me more aware of my body and general health.

[masterschamp]

Don't let some percieved "bodybuilding lifestyle" consume you. You should be able to balance a great social life with your time in the gym, and how you want to eat. One late night a week with friends is not going to compromise anyhthing. Look for other people with similar interests if you have to, but man, you should be ENJOYING yourself. This should be the time of your life ( I assume there is no wife or kids), that you are LIVING it to the fullest. I'm not saying be wreckless, but lighten up and ENJOY!! It's all about BLANCE! I'm a hell of alot older than you, I compete at the national level AND, yet, most importantly, I have a WONDERFULLY rounded life with my wife and children....and if we're out sometime or on vacation with the kids I DON'T WORRY about how precise I'm eating or how much sleep I get...my gains have been fine! ;D
Here's a busy schedule......... I've posted this before, but look at this and tell me it's not possible to enjoy, and live your life, while making your bodybuilding goals become real. BALANCE!!
Enjoy life Mystic...you only get one chance!

I WISH all I had to do was train, eat and sleep!!!LOL!!! Here's a typical day in the life of yours truly:

4:00 awake coffee!!
4:30 TRAIN session 1
5:30 Meal 1
6:00 prepare meals for the day
6:30 wake the family...... wife and 4 kids
6:45 help wife prepare breakfast, get kids ready for school ( my 14 year old has CP and is in a wheelchair and requires a considerable amount of time and care)
7:30 Everybody off to school...I am a guidance Counselor and my wife teaches Pre-K, both of our schools are within 10 minutes from home!
8:00-3:00 WORK Meals 2-3
3:15 pick up 2 of my kids from school, get everyone to practices, etc.,
4:00 TRAIN session 2
5:30 Meal 4
5:45 Help wife prepare dinner
6:00 Sit with family during dinner ( I already ate) I usually feed my son.
7:00 Coach kids in a Special Populations Rec League on Fridays, when it is NOT football season....

...This can vary here, as during football season I coach a Pop Warner team in the local youth league, with practice 3 nights a week at 7:00 and Saturday games. I also am the strength Coach at the local High School, so often times my second training session occurs after I have worked with the kids.


9:00 Help finish up kids homework, get everyone ready for bed!
10:00 lights out for the kids, and MEAL 5
10:00-11:00 Try to re-aquaint myself with the wife!
11:30 BED!!!

Now that's just a REGULAR day with none of the curves that life can throw at us...particularly if you are raising children!! BUSY doesn't even come close to describing it but I really wouldn't have it any other way..........my wife and children are the most precious things in my life and they deserve the absolute best from me ....and as a husband, a father, and a man, that is what I am obligated to do!


Keith

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Last edited by masterschamp : 02-19-2007 at 07:28 PM.

[RUBICON19]

I passed this one up just to let you take the floor Keith.

#goodpost4pw#

[Mystic79]

I am definately learning balance. I used to go out ALOT, almost every night, but then I realized that my career and my health (lifting) were important as well, even more so. So naturally I thrive on routine and when that doesn't go perfectly I get frustrated.

I'm very impressed and encouraged with the way you work your day Keith. I hope one day when I do have more responsbility (family, wife, etc) I can juggle all those things and still remain sane! You are a model for us all.

I have improved, I'm not perfect, but my training and diet are the best it's ever been, and that may be why I'm seeing some good gains in most of my lifts. Not getting enough rest bothers me the most though, because I feel like crap the rest of the day, although I'm sure alot of it is psychological.

[Rich]

masterschamp said:

Don't let some percieved "bodybuilding lifestyle" consume you. You should be able to balance a great social life with your time in the gym, and how you want to eat. One late night a week with friends is not going to compromise anyhthing. Look for other people with similar interests if you have to, but man, you should be ENJOYING yourself. This should be the time of your life ( I assume there is no wife or kids), that you are LIVING it to the fullest. I'm not saying be wreckless, but lighten up and ENJOY!! It's all about BLANCE! I'm a hell of alot older than you, I compete at the national level AND, yet, most importantly, I have a WONDERFULLY rounded life with my wife and children....and if we're out sometime or on vacation with the kids I DON'T WORRY about how precise I'm eating or how much sleep I get...my gains have been fine! ;D
Here's a busy schedule......... I've posted this before, but look at this and tell me it's not possible to enjoy, and live your life, while making your bodybuilding goals become real. BALANCE!!
Enjoy life Mystic...you only get one chance!

I WISH all I had to do was train, eat and sleep!!!LOL!!! Here's a typical day in the life of yours truly:

4:00 awake coffee!!
4:30 TRAIN session 1
5:30 Meal 1
6:00 prepare meals for the day
6:30 wake the family...... wife and 4 kids
6:45 help wife prepare breakfast, get kids ready for school ( my 14 year old has CP and is in a wheelchair and requires a considerable amount of time and care)
7:30 Everybody off to school...I am a guidance Counselor and my wife teaches Pre-K, both of our schools are within 10 minutes from home!
8:00-3:00 WORK Meals 2-3
3:15 pick up 2 of my kids from school, get everyone to practices, etc.,
4:00 TRAIN session 2
5:30 Meal 4
5:45 Help wife prepare dinner
6:00 Sit with family during dinner ( I already ate) I usually feed my son.
7:00 Coach kids in a Special Populations Rec League on Fridays, when it is NOT football season....

...This can vary here, as during football season I coach a Pop Warner team in the local youth league, with practice 3 nights a week at 7:00 and Saturday games. I also am the strength Coach at the local High School, so often times my second training session occurs after I have worked with the kids.


9:00 Help finish up kids homework, get everyone ready for bed!
10:00 lights out for the kids, and MEAL 5
10:00-11:00 Try to re-aquaint myself with the wife!
11:30 BED!!!

Now that's just a REGULAR day with none of the curves that life can throw at us...particularly if you are raising children!! BUSY doesn't even come close to describing it but I really wouldn't have it any other way..........my wife and children are the most precious things in my life and they deserve the absolute best from me ....and as a husband, a father, and a man, that is what I am obligated to do!


Keith

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by masterschamp : 02-19-2007 at 07:28 PM.

Outstanding post! #smileyapplause3ec#

Jay, it sounds like you and I are similar, in that we were slugs for a long time and then found the fitness lifestyle, and embraced it.

Keith's post is a lesson we all have to learn. When you go from Average Joe to Fit Freak, it's natural to take it to the extreme at first. Actually, it's not only natural, it's necessary. The only way to learn the lifestyle is to immerse yourself in it. If you don't, how do you decide what is OK as far as rule bending, and what is not? Early in the game, we're not equipped to know. We've spent too any years making bad choices regularly, and without really knowing any better. We have to make the RIGHT choice, ALL the time.

But then it reaches a point where it will either consume you or free you. When you start to affect the ones you love, or your good friends ... when relationships start to suffer, it is threatening to consume you. But remember that the lifestyle si meant to FREE you. Free you from the chains of poor health and low self-image. And when you reach that point, you'll be able to find the balance. You'll know, deep down, that when you go out late, or eat poorly at a party, that not only is it NOT the end of the world, it's an important part of your character that you can DO that, and then eat clean, sleep well, and train hard to maintain the kind of physical self that you know you have.

To get there, you have to KNOW you are dedicated to this life forever. Once you know that, you are free.

[masterschamp]

You already have made some choices that will benefit you....like I said before, just make sure you set time aside to enjoy yourself. Your have great intentions...just give things time, and look for the things that make you smile every day!

Keith

[cavemuscle]

agreed!

I have an aging parent, and if I dont watch it i can obsess so heavily about my lifting that I lose perspective and start building resentments and isolating. Not good.

So I make myself take breathers. go out with friends, not worry about if I eat a dinner out will I hurt something later, etc.

I dont drink anyway, so thats off the table, neither do my friends.

So, like everyone else said, unless you win the lottery or have sponsors, work on finding ssome balance and dont be afraid to find new playmates if the old ones no longer suit you.

peace

Brock

[BigMikeReed]

Hey man:

I dont' want to go #offtopic3cp# but have to share this with you-I have the opposite situation as far as age groups go- I'm 39 and find my bodybuilding lifestyle is a tough one to have around guys my age- they either dont' work out anymore or never did- use family responsibilities as an excuse- true yes children add responsiblity but you CAN still do what you need to (see Keith's post above). My experience has been guys 25-30 or so are most dedicated to the sport. The last person I trained regularly with was 23 yrs old- one of the few guys I met that was as serious as me about keeping at it. A few exeptions to this age group thing are pretty much guys on this board. I feel like I have alot in common with Massiv and Keith-- ok NOT physique wise but lifestyle-wise haha!
#focus3hy#
Ok so you can still maitain your priorities in bodybuilding- go meet your friends about 8pm and stick around until about 10:30 or so the head home for needed food and sleep. My experience has been if you are out drinking, most people get stupid later than that anyway so enjoy them while they are themselves. If they dont' understand you're leaving at that time then they aren't friends you need.

Mike

[sinnerica]

Sometimes isolation is a good think Brocko. IMO.

[Mystic79]

Wow so many great replies and insights I don't know where to start. Rich, you are dead on, I used to be a very lazy (still am in some regards) person and I lived a pretty sedentary life. TV, video games were a big thing for me as a child and late teens/20s I partied alot, drank, smoked up, all the rebellious stuff.

Now I'm starting to gain perspective on WHAT'S important in my life:
1.) God
2.) career
3.) family/friends
4.) HEALTH

So naturally it's a balance between all those things. I may not have near the multitasking or discpline as say Keith, but slowly, every year I am trying to learn something new and improve on where I was weak.

Spending time with friends is no doubt important, but I become almost obessive about the gains in the gym. For example if I have a weak workoiut this week I will look for something to blame, like;
"I should not of gone out that night" or
"Why didn't I sleep better?"

I am by no means as strict in my diet and training as most of the people on this board, but i STRIVE to be like that. You guys are happy yet discplined. You enjoy going through the pain, and self control it takes to eat right and be strict about training regiments. I'm getting there, but the road isn't easy. I guess that's why most people don't stay in shape.

[mrbeefy]

Mystic!

Dude..I'm almost 50...and still have the same situation you have.

As a matter of fact I'm, there too.

I understand balance, family, friends, job, etc.

You do, what ya gotta do....

Now...being happy doing it....hmmmm

I had mentioned to a few people that next year WILL be my year, and that it will happen, or I could get divorced in the process.

It is tough.

How do you give 100% in so many directions without it costing you something somewhere.

Too much family friends, etc.....BB suffers.
Too much BB....family, freinds, etc suffers.

Priorities?
Funny word used haphazardly.

You are not alone my friend...you are not alone.

[Mystic79]

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one Mr. Beefy. I have alot of drive and determination but I seem to put it in the things that don't matter the most, as opposed to things like growing in faith, nutrition, and training. Granted my training has gotten better and the one exercise I give 100% is my bench, and that may be why it's going up. I bust my ass in the other exercises but I'm not as analytical and calculating as far as trying to do different things to up my numbers.

I guess balance is the key, and at the same time to give EVERYTHING you got at the TASK AT HAND, that way you could give 100% in everything you do, just as long as you don't do them at the same time.

I've always been hard on myself, and have only been satisfied with my physique once in my life., one of my goals for 2007 is to get to that level again. Right now I'm bulking up, gaining some size/strength, and then come summer I will go HARDCORE and get cut up.

Of course, my social life will suffer because of this, but I guess my health is more important than that, at this point in my life. Career is another important aspect but I can still eat right and workout around that.

[masterschamp]

Mystic,
Just saying you WILL get there is half the battle! You keep that attitude and you'll figure it out. I'll let you in on a little secret.........EVERYTHING in my life fell into order when I learned to be selfLESS rather than selFISH..........when I realized that the world did not revolve around me, and placed the people in my life that I love above all else, as my top priority, my bodybulding took off. Don't allow yourself to be defined solely by your bodybuilding...what you do for others will far outweigh and outlast what you ever do in a gym or on a stage. That was a long time ago, and I feel my biggest achievment in bodybuilding isn't the titles or the trophies..it's demonstrating, especially to the younger guys like you, that you don't have to be a self-consumed recluse, or a narcisstic egomaniac to be very successful in this game...... In one of the magazine interviews I gave early in my career after big win, the interviwer asked what other titles I have...I replied that I compete for fun and against myself, and that the titles or the trophies themselves don't really mean that much to me because I already have the two biggest titles in the world...he asked me what they were......................................... my reply: "HUSBAND and FATHER."

Keith

[masterschamp]

How's it going this week with the schedule?

Keith

[Vikingjoe93]

masterschamp said:

Mystic,
Just saying you WILL get there is half the battle! You keep that attitude and you'll figure it out. I'll let you in on a little secret.........EVERYTHING in my life fell into order when I learned to be selfLESS rather than selFISH..........when I realized that the world did not revolve around me, and placed the people in my life that I love above all else, as my top priority, my bodybulding took off. Don't allow yourself to be defined solely by your bodybuilding...what you do for others will far outweigh and outlast what you ever do in a gym or on a stage. That was a long time ago, and I feel my biggest achievment in bodybuilding isn't the titles or the trophies..it's demonstrating, especially to the younger guys like you, that you don't have to be a self-consumed recluse, or a narcisstic egomaniac to be very successful in this game...... In one of the magazine interviews I gave early in my career after big win, the interviwer asked what other titles I have...I replied that I compete for fun and against myself, and that the titles or the trophies themselves don't really mean that much to me because I already have the two biggest titles in the world...he asked me what they were......................................... my reply: "HUSBAND and FATHER."

Keith

Great post Keith #smileygreatpost0av#

[jbig]

In regards to Jay's first post.

I really feel for you man. Even thought I'm only 18 and should be going out and 'enjoying myself', I worry because I usually don't get in until 4am which totally screws my sleeping pattern and messes with my diet as well. My friends would practically disown me if I left earlier.

I don't even like being in a hot sweaty clubs! Damnit why don't my friends just go to bars lol.

[Mystic79]

masterschamp said:

How's it going this week with the schedule?

Keith

Despite a bad week at work so far, my workout on Monday was AWESOME! I'm making a new goal to treat EVERY exercise I do to be very important. I notice sometimes I do half ass situps, half assed squats, but I focus hard on bench and deadlift. That will be no more.. I willl bust my ass on EVERY lift, EVERY set. Because if I am only in the gym twice a week I must make it count!

Time management is something I'm working on. I may have an interview for another job which would really help me out, especially since things are super slow at my main job. So once that's all squared away I will make a daily routine not for workouts but for my life!

Keith you set a great example, and you are very wise and determined. I can only hope to be 1/2 of what you are as far as your discipline and dedication. My hats off to you man.

[Mystic79]

jbig said:

In regards to Jay's first post.

I really feel for you man. Even thought I'm only 18 and should be going out and 'enjoying myself', I worry because I usually don't get in until 4am which totally screws my sleeping pattern and messes with my diet as well. My friends would practically disown me if I left earlier.

I don't even like being in a hot sweaty clubs! Damnit why don't my friends just go to bars lol.

You must work INCREDIBLE hard with your diet and have AWESOME genetics Mr. Big, because you look fantastic. If I wanted to get that ripped I'd have to sacrifice SO much more than I am now to get those results.

That's why I enjoy coming to this board, it helps me get out of my comfort zone and work harder in and out of the gym.

[jbig]

mystic79 said:

jbig said:

In regards to Jay's first post.

I really feel for you man. Even thought I'm only 18 and should be going out and 'enjoying myself', I worry because I usually don't get in until 4am which totally screws my sleeping pattern and messes with my diet as well. My friends would practically disown me if I left earlier.

I don't even like being in a hot sweaty clubs! Damnit why don't my friends just go to bars lol.

You must work INCREDIBLE hard with your diet and have AWESOME genetics Mr. Big, because you look fantastic. If I wanted to get that ripped I'd have to sacrifice SO much more than I am now to get those results.

That's why I enjoy coming to this board, it helps me get out of my comfort zone and work harder in and out of the gym.

If I'm honest, I'm just young and have an awesome metabolism.

I'm one of those people who can eat pretty much anything, but I don't take advantage of that; I choose to eat healthly.

Thanks for the compliments ;D