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Post by Hoopie on Jan 31, 2008 1:41:37 GMT -5
I am going to try and make this as short as possible...
I coach my daughters basketball team. Not a great team but a good team. She's 2nd in rebounds and 3rd in points. An i believe she would be first if we had a 3 point line in her age group. Most of her shots are from out there.. Anyway to the problem.
There is a team in the league that is dirty. Its known by all even the league president. Well we played them the first time and my daughter took it to them even though we lost she frustrated the hell out of them.. Well the second time we played them she was driving down and one kid stuck out his foot as she got pushed my the opther. Yes pushed. Now some things were over heard by other folks both on my team and from the team before us that their coach had said about the girl on my team. Well i only have one girl and it Kayla. Needless to say she was injured to the point that she could not return to the game. She hit the floor damn hard and i saw RED!!!
Well we play them again and she wants revenge but my wife is adament that she is not playing. I want to leave it up to Kayla but my wife is afraid that the same thing will happen to her again. Do i believe the first time was intentional, YES! Just because the one person that heard it was her grandfather and he came up to me before the game and was worried about her. This girl wants REVENGE and i would like her to have that chance but i dont want her to get hurt. She's a good basketball player and loves the game.
So i am stuck, do i let her play cause she wants to play?
or
Do i not let her play because for fear of her getting hurt again and hearing it from my wife and plus me probably going after the other coach?
One side says sit her but then the other side of me sees her passion for the game and the want to play in it. She can hang with 95% of the boys in the league so i know she can handle herself out there, BUT?
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Post by mrbeefy on Jan 31, 2008 7:06:07 GMT -5
Hoops!
Man, can I relate.
My grandaughter Kylee, who is 9 years old had the same problem.
She is short, but VERY fast, and has a GREAT outside shot that she hits at about 98%. She's been playing for 4 years, and is the team captain. (On an aside, she also plays soccer and fast pitch softball. She wanted play play football, but HER mom said NO! She is a straight A student since first grade and is in an excetional learning class. She is in 4th grade, but reads, and does math at a 7th grade level) The other teams ALWAYS double team her.
On top of that, she is great defensive player too, and the other girls just can't get past her. She's kind of like an annoying little gnat that keeps buzzing around you!
Anyways, last year, our dirty team did the same thing to us. This girl who was a head and a half taller than my grandaughter kept trying to intimidate her by pushing her, but Kylee wouldn't back off. Finally, this other girl body checked her head-to-head and sent Kylee flying across the floor. Everybody ran out to make sure she was ok, because she slammed so hard. My wife was really pissed off. (Note: NEVER anger a Sicilian/Swedish Powerlifter!)
My wife tore into their coach like a tiger!
Long story short: NO ONE, the coachs, ref's, Facility Director, said a thing to the other girl or their team coach. My wife was so infuriatated that she almost got physical with the Facility Director.
She took it to the next level and called the MAYOR to have the Facility Director Reprimanded. After 3-4 weeks of frustration and stress.....NOTHING HAPPENED!
Outcome: My grandaughter does not want to play BB anymore, because of the way she got treated, and she doesn't want her "melon" cracked on the floor again.
My opinion for you: Take her to the game. See how she does for the first few minutes, and play it by ear. If everyting is going ok, let her play. IF things get dicey COACH...pull her out.
Last but not least....it's a game. They are kids and should be learning and having fun. Don't let her grow up too fast!
AND.....if you need it...I can send the Sicilian/Swedish Powerlifter over to you...just in case! ;D
Point to ponder:
This is more adult oriented, but it may be something to think about when you make your decision.
It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin.—Katharine Butler Hathaway
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Post by RUBICON19 on Jan 31, 2008 7:38:51 GMT -5
Let her play, but let her revenge be through the scoreboard! I would also approach the other coach about the pushing situation and NICELY ask him to do his best to not let something like that happen EVER again!
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Post by Rich on Jan 31, 2008 8:00:47 GMT -5
Let her play, but let her revenge be through the scoreboard! I would also approach the other coach about the pushing situation and NICELY ask him to do his best to not let something like that happen EVER again! Exactly what I was going to say. |
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Post by mrbeefy on Jan 31, 2008 8:35:41 GMT -5
IMO, I Don't mean to sound like the "wet blanket", but I would take the "revenge" notion totally out of it. Think positive thoughts, not negative. WE need to teach our kids how to do their best, and BE their best that they can be, but not through a negative conotation like "revenge".
My fear would be that if they can take "revenge" in sports, why not in other things in life? Careful what you teach.
Just my 2 cents. I'be been working with adolescents on an advisory board, and teaching for about 20 years.
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Post by GerryT on Jan 31, 2008 18:16:01 GMT -5
Agree with Frank. Outstanding advice. Kids don't need all the negatives.
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Post by youngblood on Jan 31, 2008 20:34:50 GMT -5
Let her play, but prior to letting her make the decision, sit down with her and tell her the options she has and the ramifications of those options should she choose one just out of revenge.
She could play, and get hurt worse, but not even score at all.
She could get hurt later on, after her team is up in points and that would be satisfying.
Different options, and each one leads to it's own distinct outcome.
I say let her play....but only if she knows what can/could happen to HER.
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Post by Hoopie on Feb 19, 2008 22:21:25 GMT -5
Just an update on this. My daughter wont be playing in this game or playing for the next 3-6 weeks. She broke her pinky finger in her last game right along the growth plate. We are now seeing an orthopedic surgen for it. Bad thing is her other team start up this friday and she was very upset that she will be missing some of the season if not all. This little girl broke down in tears when the doc told her....
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Post by fit on Feb 20, 2008 6:20:23 GMT -5
AH- too bad Hoopie. Funny how these things sort themselves out FBOW.
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Post by mrbeefy on Feb 20, 2008 6:29:03 GMT -5
Hoops!
Really sorry about the injury.
But talk about Karma, huh? Kind of took the decision about playing right our of your hands. Probably a good "teachable" moment for you and her. Good time to explain that even though we make all kinds of plans, and get ourselves all nervous, etc., you never know how things are going to work out, so don't sweat the small stuff.
Be careful with "growth plate" breaks. My experience is that it could inhibit the growth in that area and casue problems later.
Perhaps Bob has some input in that for you.
Well, hope she heals fast and soon. She'll be out there again in no time!
Hang in there "Dad"!
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Post by GerryT on Feb 20, 2008 13:30:51 GMT -5
Sorry for the injury, brother. Hope she heals fast and is back at 100%! Will try to call this weekend.
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Post by RUBICON19 on Feb 20, 2008 14:15:09 GMT -5
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Post by Hoopie on Feb 21, 2008 14:57:24 GMT -5
Well we play them tonight so it shoudl be an interesting game...
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