I'm down but not out!

[Mystic79]

Good to be posting again. I've had some troubles in my personal life the past few weeks. I've had big decisions to make regarding a relationship, my life, and other things. I fell into depression again and have been drinking alot the past few weeks. However, I feel invigorated, and realized that I cannot throw my life away again, and that I've made so much progress (especially dieting) that I MUST GO ON.

So anyways, I feel good, am sober, and am going to start back on my diet and training come Monday. I'm psyched! I hope I hadn't let you guys down, I got issues, but I'm dealing with them.

[Maximum6]

Thats what bodybuilding is about ...after all these time i'm here. Its about dicipline and concentration. Without it you'll go off track. So keep focus.

[GerryT]

Great to see you posting again. Just take it a day at a time and things will fall into place. I and others here have hit bottom at some point. i had to bounce back from hardship and you can too.

Keep the regimen going. We're all rooting for you. So always keep in touch with your brother posters here.

[Tim Wescott]

Jay,Sorry to hear about your recent problems buddy.

I wrote the book on hitting bottom, and one thing I know for sure is that there is always a new low to sink to.

Failed relationships was one of my biggest triggers for going on a drunk.After many years of doing this to myself, I came to the realization that you cannot depend on anyone else to make you happy.

Sure it`s great if it happens, but if it doesn`t work out like you planned/want,just try to get over it quickly by keeping busy or you`ll drive yourself freakin` nuts.

To be quite honest, and to bare my soul a bit, I am having problems in my life as far as living here goes.I`m absoulutely miserable, and want to go back home very badly.Trouble is,I`m married.

I`m getting older, and I cannot bear to see myself this miserable for the rest of my life.

I`ve got to do something, but as of yet I haven`t reached a decision on it.

One thing I will say is that the booze only beats you up more, and will actually make you more depressed once the smoke clears.

I honestly think about drinking every single day lately, but I know I won`t do it, as one more step backwards into another hole would probably be a hole I never come out of again.

I`m glad you realize that you have to go on in life and forge ahead no matter how great the pain may be.That`s the first step.....stopping and realization of the problem.

Post here daily, and hit the gym,go to a movie, and hang out with people who really care about you.

try to stay busy and stay positive.

Leave the negative bullsh*t to guy`s like me and keep on pushing bro,you`ll be back in the swing of things in no time flat.

After losing everything I ever owned, many times over, because of beating myself up over failed relationships, I realize that only I can make myself happy/content, and once I start to depend on other people to do it for me I`m screwed.

Another thing I`ve learned after drinking for years and abandoning my training many times over, is that bodybuilding/training is one of the only things that kept me going, and without it I was like a rudderless ship with no goals or direction.

If I didn`t train,I`d be dead from drinking and drugs.

The iron is theraputic, and is always your friend.

Keep your head up buddy,and we are all here for you.

Take it one day at a time, and it`ll get better on a daily basis.

I can truly relate to you in this regard, and if you ever need someone to talk to, or to just vent to, you can give me a call, or e-mail me anytime.

Good luck and stay strong!!

[GerryT]

Beautiful and inspirational post, Tim. So true, it comes down to ourselves.

Went on a bender, considered suicide more than once after losing my family. But a good friend helped me come to a similar realization about making yourself happy and making a life for yourslef.

God never abandons us. We abandon Him. Likewise, need to talk to someone I'm here.

And Tim, need a friend who will listen feel free to get in touch always, buddy.

[Tim Wescott]

Thanks Gerry,I can`t even begin to compare notes with you my friend.

Life is hard at times, but we have to keep on going, as this is what will make us stronger and better people in the end.

[Mystic79]

Tim,

First I want to thank you for your friendship, support and sympathy. You're right, there will always be a new low to hit in life. I felt so strong before and the past month I've felt like a scared weakling, afraid to face life and reality.

Sorry to hear about not being happy where you live. Being married is perhaps one of the biggest committments a man can make in his life. I hope it all works out, and perhaps your wife can compromise? I know women tend to want things their way, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Drinking and smoking cigarettes has been something I've reverted to numerous times while depressed, or feeling suicidal. Luckily I have been feeling down, but not suicidal, and I have not reverted back to doing drugs (illegal ones). I know that if I get caught or in trouble my life might PERMANENTLY stay in the gutter.

Although I've been drinking and not living healthy, I did workout a couple times the past few weeks and it definately helped. The iron definately is a good friend, at times like this. I need to forge ahead, and make goals for myself, and, as you said, surround yourself with people who care.

I appreciate the support, and I might take you up on the email thing. I've come to love this board alot, and you and the people here are fantastic. What is your email, Tim?

Thanks to everybody else for the comments. As I stated in my title, I'm down but NOT out.

[Tim Wescott]

Jay,It`s good to hear the positive thinking bro!!

I`m doing OK but I guess I needed to vent a little myself.

E-mail me anytime at:
[e-mail]

Stay strong brother,it only get`s better if you let it get better!!

[Phils92]

Hey Jay,

I am glad you are getting back into the swing of things, you were starting to scare me there for a bit!! I spoke with you on the phone today and you sounded alot better and I think you are making a good decision! You know I am always here for ya man, I have never even met you before and I look upto you! You just gotta keep your head up and realize that life is not easy, EVERYONE has their share of problems and a quick fix does not help you at all!! That is a pu**y way out and many people ruin their lives like that everyday! My father and his side of the family for instance.. Life is a bumpy ride and you just gotta hold on and do the best you can by doing to RIGHT things and making the right decisions, I know I am only 20 but my life is not exactly perfect either brotha, you know that! lol. Keep up the good work man, stay off of the booze and don't hesitate to give me a call if you need to, I will knock your ass back into shape if you get out of line again! ;D

[Mystic79]

Tim,

You got mail buddy!

Phil,

It was good talking to you this weekend. I'm glad to hear you're doing better! Just gotta watch out for those fists of fury you got there! Hope all goes well man, and thanks for the advice. I'm hanging in there. And hey, if I do derail again and start drinking heavily, I will MAKE you come here and literally kick my ass! I'm dead serious.

[WireNWood]

Jay,

Wow. Good work steppin' back this way...keep it up.

I had a couple of weeks with the depression creepin' back, myself. I got back to training Friday after slackin' for about 2 weeks. Funny how these things.... it's like one way or another..we're never alone. You go through something and FEEL alone, then you find out you weren't.

I guess I'm not being much help here... I felt alone, and I'd come here ... but wouldn't even read anything. Now I see that even when I was kinda outside the door and too low to walk in, I wasn't even alone out there on the sidewalk.

I'm sorry that you went there. Good job for heading back this way.

[Jesse]

Good to have you back... how is the first day going?

[Mystic79]

Woo hoo!! 4 days sober, and I feel better already. Alcohol REALLY makes things worse. At first it seems like it helps, with that nice steady buzz, but the days afterwards you just get worse and worse. It's a downward spiral.

Tomorrow I'm going to lift and do some nice cardio for 45 mins (if my lung capacity is still there!) LOL. But anyways, thanks for all the support guys, It's good to be back!

[J65]

Mystic, I'm new to the board and glad you got yourself out of your funk. Life has it's ups and downs, always will. I try to keep a positive attitude, it's tough sometimes, but it pulls you through.

Hope everything goes well and take care.

[Tim Wescott]

I`m really glad to hear you`re doing better Jay!!

Hang in buddy.

[EricDonnelly]

Yeah for real man hang in there. I watched my father drink himself to death at 37 years old and that's not a fun thing to watch let alone go through if your the one drinking. Keep lifting and stay on the right track.

[WireNWood]

Good work, man. We're behind you all the way.

[J65]

"I`m really glad to hear you`re doing better Jay!!

Hang in buddy."

Tim, hope you can excuse me for butting in your and Jay's conversation. Just offering a suggestion, if I could.

Tim you mentioned that you are miserable. Have no idea what you do for a living or where you live, nor do you have to specify.


Maybe you could become your own boss and own a gym. Just my opinion you would be a natural at it, just looking at the website you built. It ain't going to be peaches and cream, but I think you could build up the business and be happy doing it all the while.

I know this sounds corny as hell, but when life seems to be a bunch of lemons, a person has to make lemonade.

As you can see I'm a big fan of corny adages ;D

Take care and hoping the best works out for you.

John

[Tim Wescott]

No problem with the "butting in" John,this is our forum and you weren`t butting in at all.

I figuratively make lemonade on a daily bassis ,that`s why I`m still living up here.

I`ll tell you more about my situation in the future but I`ve recounted it so many times on this forum someone might kill me if I complain about it again. ;D

I`ll PM you the info some time this weekend as I`m in a good mood and to do so now would depress me and presently I`m tired of making that lemonade!! ;D

[agaudin]

I feel for you guys. I grew up spending alot of time with my grandfather. He was a alcoholic, and he took me with him alot of the time on his benders and gambling runs. Ofcourse my parents never knew and i just loved being with my grandpa anywhere he went. Eventually it caught up to him, they lost their house and moved closer to my parents. they then divorced, remarried and life went on. I went to every AA meeting with him and even cried when he was in rehab. He had continual strokes for years and eventually was in such ill condition that he had to be taken care of 24/7 by my grandmother. One sad life lead to a good one in me. I learned from my grandfather and his trials and I promised myself never to commit the same mistakes. Good luck too you both in your trils and email me anytime. I'll be your sponser.
Aaron

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