Post by Mystic79 on Jan 2, 2007 2:19:10 GMT -5
beckie said:
there are always going to be women out there like that,I know some myself and I'm in my mid 30's. Unfortunately some have a bunch of stupid rules they think they have to follow to keep a man interested-total BS in my opinion! I don't like men that play games either so I guess between us we've met some of the worst! LOLfortunately for me,I've started listening to my gut more because what seems like a loser is often dead right!
I guess I'm old fashioned and honest. I understand there are certain rules to dating and etiquette, but this is just ridiculous. Maybe it's the latest hip thing to do. People see it in magazines (Vogue, Glamour, Maxim) as well as TV shows so naturally they think this is how the real world is and they try to play games to make them think they are the same as pop. culture.
Unfortunately behaviors like this are a HUGE turn off to certain people (like you and me)., but still they think it's the right thing to do. God FORBID the other person knows you like them and vice versa. It's a form of manipulation that, if it's happening in the early stages, there's a good chance it will happen if we formed a relationship. I guess better now than later, huh?
Part of me is saying it's just a formality and something that everybody does when you first date, but other misogynistic and cynical side to me says this is a red flag telling me to move along and leave NOW.
Thank you for your input Beckie! I appreciate the female perspectives on this board. And I totally agree guys do play certain games too, but the whole not answering and calling some other day is just too much. As a guy I try to be cautious when I first date in order to get to know the person and slowly establish trust, but I wouldn't go out of my way to confuse them just to get them to like me. I think it says more about the self-esteem about the person doing it, more than anything else. If you are comfortable with who you are and you like yourself, then you have no reason to stage such a farce to get the other side to want you more. That goes for both girls AND guys btw.
I have a theory that people who are more physically attracted almost HAVE to play the game. Here is a person who gets hit on all the time (hypothetical person) and of course has to evade and be mysterious to weed out the good from the bad. So naturally, even when they meet someone they like or start dating, that game playing is almost ingrained in their mind, so they are trying to play it safe, not only for the protection of their ego/self image, but also to keep the other person hungry and non-complacent so they want you more. In my experience, it seems girls who don't dress as flashy, or are more "average" looking typically are more down to earth with their personality as well. I am saying there is a CORRELATION, not causation. So of course, there are some attractive women who don't play these games, but I'm guessing the more superficial ones tend to do this more.
Sorry for the long winded post, but talking about it definately makes it better, and I think the beauty of it, is that we can all learn from each other, and our life experiences. Even if this ends up bad (which I think it will), hopefully we can all gain insights and knowledge.
